« Confronting the Spambots again. . . | Main | Woo Hoo, Woo Freakin' Hoo. . . »
May 30, 2006
Of course it does, you f'in idiots. . .
Who it the hell let these fools get an advanced degree, much more to the point, who in the hell is funding this ridiculous study.
An excerpt:
Forests could become thick with more toxic forms of poisonous ivy and other noxious vines, thanks to rising levels of carbon dioxide.That's the conclusion from researchers in the United States who have shown that the higher CO2 levels expected in the next 50 years breed ivies that grow twice as fast, and, unexpectedly, manufacture a nastier form of poison. "It'll be more dangerous to go in the forest," says team leader Jacqueline Mohan of the Marine Biological Laboratory at Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
Ok, you idiot "researchers" at Woods Hole, let me clue you in on something. Plants absorb CO2 and emit O2, a plant is pretty much exactly the opposite of a human when it comes to respiration, humans absorb O2 (oxygen) and emit CO2 while plants do. . . yep, the opposite. So it stands to reason, and has been well known for quite some time (well over one hundred years actually) that if you increase the amount of CO2 in a plant's presence, it's going to grow faster, stronger, healthier and it's "potency" will increase (Don't believe me, just go ask your local grower of premium hydro-bud, I'm sure you know one, and he'll clue you in, then inquire if you can spare some of the CO2 cylinders you wasted by pumping them straight into the open air). Furthermore, if you give a human increased levels of oxygen, they too will perform better, have more energy and be more active.
This "study" is simply ridiculous on its face, and far from showing the "evils" of increased CO2 levels, the enviro-whackos are merely showing that they have no real purpose other than to cry out in insane hyperbole and claims that the sky is falling. Or in this case, that the poison ivy is coming to get us all!!!!!! OOOOHHHH, SCARY!!!!!!!
So lemme just point this out. If you increase CO2 levels, plants get jiggy with it and start growing faster and stronger and in turn they actually scrub more of the "evil" CO2 from the air. This is a major reason that North America is actually a NET ABSORBER of CO2; we are quite fond of plants here in the U.S., we go so far as to surround our homes with lush lawns, we have flower beds and garden planters for no reason other than that we enjoy looking after our flora friends.
While these "researchers" decided to present the evil poison ivy as a "scourge of gardeners and hikers" they conveniently don't focus on the obvious other outcomes of increased CO2 levels. Not only will poison ivy grow bigger stronger and better, but so will grains, trees, pulses, bulbs, flowers, mosses and every other form of plant life. The Earth is a large ecosystem, and it's been balancing out atmospheric levels of constituent gasses for alot longer than we feeble humans have been adding our CO2 to the mix. The response to increased levels of CO2 in the atmosphere by our planet is bigger and stronger plants. This should of course make our enviro-whackos happy, but of course, their goal isn't to make the "environment" better, it's merely to obstruct any and all development by humans.
Remember, kiddies, Humans are a part of the natural environment, our ability to use tools, create industry and manufacture is a NATURAL OCCURANCE. Unless of course you want to give up on Darwin and begin to proclaim that humankind is some sort of artificially introduced construct. There you go enviro-whackos, are you ready to give up on Darwin and accept a single (non-Gaia, non-Mother Earth) God that put humans here???? I thought not!
Thanks alot for this totally useless "study" by some equally worthless "researchers", if you wanted to know if increased CO2 presence would increase plant growth, you could have asked any hobby gardner or better yet, your local DEA agent. They'd both be happy to tell you that increased CO2 levels increases flora growth.
IDIOTS!!!!
--Jason
P.S. Of course, increased plant growth leads to more habitat for Manbearpig. Throw me some of that Woods Hole "research" money and I'll put out a study showing how poison ivy is actually Manbearpig's preferred foodstuff (after cartoon kids of course) and that the only way to ensure our safety from Manbearpig would be to eliminate all CO2 production worldwide so that we can kill off all the plant life, including that "scourge", poison ivy.
-JC
Posted by JasonColeman at May 30, 2006 3:54 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.jasoncoleman.com/MT/mt-tb.cgi/362
